I’ve written before about how I toyed with the idea of minimalism for a couple years before I really took it seriously. One January I finally dipped my toe in as a resolution. I started by decluttering, then creating a capsule wardrobe, minimizing my beauty routine, and buying less. In the process, I was shocked by the realizations I started having very quickly. Here are 10 things that took me by surprise once I became a minimalist.
1. I felt better, not worse, after letting things go.
As a tidy person, I had done superficial decluttering before. It always feels nice to clear out trash and obvious junk from your living space. This time, though, I did it more aggressively. I got rid of things I had hesitated to discard before. Things that I thought could be useful someday, or that had some marginal sentimental value. The reason I hadn’t decluttered them previously was that the thought of letting them go was painful. When I imagined it, I assumed I would feel bereft and regretful afterwards. I thought I would mourn the lost items and feel guilty for abandoning them.
Doing a round of more “extreme” decluttering changed my perspective. I did feel that hesitation and guilt while sorting things to discard. But the second they were out of my home, I felt not guilt but immense relief. Years later and after even further minimizing, I can say that there is genuinely not one thing that I regret getting rid of.
With that perspective, I can now approach decluttering with the confidence that I’m not going to miss anything I let go. And that transitions into my next realization after becoming a minimalist….
2. I never turned out to need something I was torn about giving up.
Another reason I had previously hesitated to get rid of things – which I’ve written about before – is that I thought there was a chance I’d need them in the future. What if I got too passionate about decluttering, chucked something out, and then a situation arose where I actually needed it? That would be terrible, and I’d kick myself for overzealously decluttering.
Well, I’ve been on this journey of becoming a minimalist for a couple of years now, and guess what? I have never turned out to need something I got rid of.
Very occasionally, there are situations where I could have used something I discarded. For example, I may need to paint a room and think I could have used an old, crappy t-shirt. But there are always simple solutions to these situations, like borrowing an equally crappy t-shirt from your spouse or a friend. In every case, the cost of keeping things “just in case” would have been higher than the minor inconvenience I faced when I had to find a replacement.
3. I realized it’s always wasteful to get rid of things. The real solution is to not overconsume in the first place.
One barrier you might face when attempting to declutter is the guilt over throwing things away that are “perfectly good.” It feels wasteful to discard things – even if you do your best to donate or recycle.
Well…it is wasteful. These days, donation centers are overflowing because of the abundance of fast, cheap fashion. Even people in need don’t need cheap junk. Ultimately, a lot of what you discard will end up in a landfill.
However, that’s not a reason not to declutter. To be morbid for a moment, even if you keep all your junk for the rest of your life, ultimately it will end up in a landfill. It’s better to declutter once, create some waste, but then change your habits to not overconsume in the first place. Take the guilt you feel about throwing things away and channel it into behavior change. Remember that feeling when you’re tempted to buy something you don’t need. Beyond clearing out space, becoming minimalist will save you money by changing your shopping habits.
4. I started taking better care of my stuff.
I’ve written before about how your clutter can make you feel guilty. This was a constant struggle for me. Even just getting ready in the morning would lead to guilt. I’d approach the sink and remember that I hadn’t washed my makeup brushes in ages. I knew it was unhygienic and bad for my skin if I didn’t, but somehow I just never had the time to conquer this five-minute task. Then I’d reach for my expensive Dyson hair straightener and remember that I’m supposed to regularly take it apart and clean it out. Not doing this would cause it to break, which I really didn’t want as, again – it was expensive! Countless thoughts like these would go through my head within my first 30 minutes of waking up each day. And yet…I still did not take care of these minor chores as often as I should have.
After decluttering, I realized that when there are too many things in your space, it’s overwhelming to even think about caring for all of them. Sure I could clean out the straightener in ten minutes, but then I’d have to do the same for my kitchen appliances, and gardening tools, and electronics, and on and on. Feeling drowned by those thoughts, I would end up not doing anything. And the cycle of guilt and letting stuff fall apart would continue.
When you minimize your possessions, it’s suddenly easy to respond when you notice one of them requires care. You can quickly address it without mentally adding it to a long to-do list of similar tasks. Becoming a minimalist means having a few higher-quality possessions that last longer, rather than an overabundance of stuff that you replace frequently because you’re not taking care of it.
5. I realized that just because something is a gift, that doesn’t mean you need to keep it forever.
This is another concept I addressed in my post about the bad reasons you hold onto junk. During previous declutters, I generally would not part with anything that was a gift. It would be incredibly ungrateful to throw away something someone else bought me, and even more gauche to sell it. But once I became a minimalist, I thought – why not?
It was an epiphany for me to realize that when something is gifted to you, it’s not your responsibility to cherish and care for it forever. Think about how often you receive gifts – maybe at your birthday, a winter holiday like Christmas, when someone you know returns from a trip, at milestone celebrations like housewarmings, engagement parties, baby showers…. It’s several times per year. As you get older, all these gifts just continue to pile up. Unless everyone you know is an exceptional gift giver, many of these are things you wouldn’t have bought for yourself. It’s a relief to realize that you’re not responsible for them indefinitely. It’s not going to ruin your relationship with the gift giver if you declutter them. Most likely, that person has already forgotten they gave it to you.
So go ahead and declutter those items. You can even sell them! (But maybe don’t tell the gift giver that….) And make it clear to your loved ones that you prefer experiences over material things when it comes to gifts. You’ll be more likely to receive experiences you actually want, and you won’t end up in the situation of being saddled with stuff you don’t again.
6. When traveling, I felt relieved – not panicked – when I forgot to pack things I “needed.”
I traveled a bit while exploring these early stages of becoming a minimalist. The process of packing and unpacking gave me more opportunities to consider what I actually needed. And it reminded me in a very literal way that extra stuff can really weigh me down.
Sometimes when I arrived at my destination I would realize I forgot to pack something I would normally use – certain beauty products, for example. Of course, one of the reasons I used to tend to overpack was fear of this very scenario. Of needing something and then not having it.
But counterintuitively, I found that I felt relieved rather than disappointed. It felt like I was getting a “vacation” from my beauty routine. And that’s what made me realize that I would much rather have a simple routine every day. I wasn’t taking all these steps out of a commitment to “self-care.” I was doing them because an advertiser had convinced me I had to. Feeling the freedom of a break from that routine – and having an opportunity to see that there were no consequences to not doing it – led me to significantly declutter my cosmetics and simplify my daily routine.
7. It became obvious that having a bunch of stuff is more of a burden than a blessing.
This one is a key realization for anyone trying out minimalism. On the surface it can seem like the more stuff you have, the better. Certainly our materialist culture will try to convince you that’s the case. But when I started exploring minimalism, I experienced a mindset shift. The more stuff you have, the more money and time you need to sink into maintaining it. Storage space, cleaning services, organization equipment and fancy closet setups – all these expenses are related to having too much stuff. Beyond the monetary costs, these things will cost you your time. More stuff means more to sort through to find what you want, more to maintain, more daily choices to make, and more to tidy.
Becoming a minimalist simplifies your life and reduces the hours you need to spend on housework and maintenance. It seems simple and obvious when I write it out, but this realization was actually a huge wakeup call for me.
8. I was freed from constant tidying and organization.
Have you ever organized a closet without decluttering much? Maybe you even bought special containers, shelves, and labels to keep everything looking tidy and in a system where you can find it. Being the kind of person who loves tidiness and simplicity, I’ve done this many times throughout my life. And it’s exhausting. It’s also expensive if you buy all the storage containers, closet systems, and so on.
I used to focus on organization. I would approach a messy closet by asking, “How do I organize my mountains of stuff?” Minimalism taught me that my question should be, “Why do I have mountains of stuff?”
Neither the equipment nor the effort is required when you just don’t have that much stuff. It’s easy to find any item in your space if you only own a few. And your closet will never look like a mess if there isn’t much stuff to clutter it. I’ve mentioned that I tend to be a tidy person, but many people reading this are likely not. If you hate tidying but you also hate mess, becoming a minimalist is the solution.
9. I realized hoarding is a result of anxiety.
As I decluttered in my initial foray into minimalism, I became introspective. I started watching my thoughts as I considered what to keep and what to discard. I realized that my hesitation to throw things in the discard pile was almost always rooted in anxiety. And the anxiety wasn’t rational. The thought was usually, “What if I need this in the future, though?”
The same thing happened when I packed for a trip. I threw things in my suitcase “just in case” something unexpected happened. Sure, I knew how many days I’d be away and how much I would usually need for that amount of time. But anything could happen! What if I ended up needing more?
I even used to carry large purses wherever I went. What if I sweat and needed more makeup? Or if I got hungry and needed a granola bar? What if I broke a nail and needed to file it?
After observing these kinds of thoughts for a while, the pattern became obvious. I always had some nebulous “what if” scenario that wasn’t likely to happen. And all of those “what ifs” came down to mild but unfounded anxiety.
When I became a minimalist and started traveling with less, I realized that sometimes I didn’t have the exact thing I wanted at the moment I wanted it. And…it was fine. I was able to let go of the anxiety and the “what ifs” because I realized the outcome of those hypothetical scenarios was frankly not that bad. The bigger problem, in fact, was being weighed down by all this extra stuff. This lesson was hugely valuable and shifted how I approach anxiety in other areas of my life, as well.
10. I started appreciating my possessions more.
I’ve spent a lot of time over the last couple of years observing my toddler. When he’s in an environment with tons of toys, he feels overstimulated and starts behaving badly. He’ll grab a toy, become frustrated within seconds, then throw it and reach for another one. By contrast, when there are just a few in his environment, he plays with the same things over and over without complaint. He’ll take the time to figure out how to use a toy instead of immediately seeking out another one. Limiting toys is a tenet of the Montessori method, and the rationale is exactly that – to prevent overstimulation and encourage children to fully appreciate what they have.
I feel that I learn a lot about my inner self from watching my toddler. Small children haven’t yet learned how to mask their natural desires and response to things. Adults know how to hide their frustration, but we have the same response to overstimulating environments. And we tend to undervalue our “toys” when we have many. We could wait in line outside the Apple store for the latest release only to throw it aside a few weeks later when we see an ad for the next exciting gadget.
Once you become a minimalist, you’ll reduce this overstimulation and start to really appreciate what you have.
What about you?
What have you learned through decluttering or by becoming a minimalist? Have you had any “aha” moments?