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I often share decluttering tips for our physical space. We’ve all experienced stuff piling up around us because we weren’t intentional about what we bring into our homes. But what about our minds? Can they collect clutter, as well? My intention with this series on the Enneagram types is to show how we unconsciously build up “psychic clutter” and provide guidance on which unhelpful beliefs each type can declutter for a more fulfilling life. For more context, see the introduction to my post about the Enneagram 1. Here, we’ll focus on the Enneagram 6.
There’s a lot of debate about the utility of personality typology, whether it’s MBTI, the Enneagram, or other systems. Personally, I find these systems to be incredibly useful in identifying problematic patterns that tend to go together.
The Enneagram breaks down human personalities into 9 core types. It defines each type by a core fear and a core motivation. I love the simplicity of that breakdown, which gets to the heart of what’s really driving our behavior. In this series, I’ll suggest several pieces of “psychic clutter” that each type tends to grab onto early in life and then hang onto too long.
If you don’t know your Enneagram type, you can read about all the types on sites like the Enneagram Institute. You can also take an online test, but treat the result like a suggestion rather than a definitive answer. The test can help you narrow down likely types, but only you can determine what your core fears and motivations are.
Below, I’ll provide a quick summary of the Enneagram 6. If it sounds like you, keep reading for advice on what beliefs and habits you can declutter to create more room for personal growth in your life.
Who Is the Enneagram 6?
The Enneagram 6 is often called both “The Loyalist” and “The Skeptic.” If those sound incompatible, it’s because the Type 6 is quite contradictory. They are dependable, responsible, hardworking, and trustworthy. But 6s can also be anxious, overly cautious, distrustful, and indecisive. They experience a great deal of self-doubt as well as doubt toward others.
Enneagram 6 Motivations and Fears
The Enneagram 6 strives to create security for themselves, usually including support from others. That’s because they are part of the “Head Triad” that centers on fear (with Types 5 and 7). Their primary fear is that they will be on their own, without any guidance or help from others.
There’s an ironic push-pull when it comes to authority, though. On one hand, they very much want to be able to trust an authority – a person or an institution – fully, leaning on them for support and guidance. On the other, they fear any authority will not be reliable. Therefore, even though they seek out hierarchical environments, they are also rebellious, often testing the authority figure to ensure that they are secure.
Of the three types in the Head Triad, 6s are the most consciously aware of their fear and anxiety. They don’t push it into the subconscious like Types 5 and 7 do. They instead actively try to fight against their anxiety and create a secure foundation for themselves.
Enneagram 6 Strengths and Weaknesses
The Enneagram 6 is extremely loyal to friends, social groups, institutions, and causes. This does not mean that they are always conventional, though. The beliefs they are loyal too may very well be revolutionary. Type 6 is the person you want on your side or fighting for your cause, because they will never abandon what they feel aligned with.
The unconscious motivation for this is essentially a lack of self-confidence. Many Type 6s were raised in unstable, unpredictable environments. Or else they had a peaceful childhood interrupted by a major, unexpected event such as a divorce, financial loss, or natural disaster. They learned from this experience that they need to be on their guard because misfortune could strike at any moment. This constant undercurrent of anxiety makes them feel they aren’t capable of handling life’s challenges themselves; they need to look to external structures and other people for support.
The Enneagram 6’s mind is very active. They are always thinking, and a good amount of that mental activity is focused on worry – basically, on predicting future events. This can be an advantage in many situations, as they think things through and plan effectively. They usually want others to act as a sounding board for them and to give advice. At the same time, they counterintuitively do not want to be controlled or have others make decisions for them. This can lead to a lot of fretting, bouncing ideas off a variety of people, yet not necessarily taking their advice.
Thus, the best way to describe the Enneagram 6 is inherently contradictory. If you suspect you’re a 6, you may recognize this feeling of bouncing between courage and anxiety, offense and defense, trust and suspicion of others.
What Do You Need to Let Go as an Enneagram 6?
Did any of the above sound familiar? It likely did for many of you. The Enneagram 6, along with the 9, is one of the most common types. And like any other type, they’ve built up a lot of clutter in their minds.
Below is a list of thought patterns and beliefs that you can “declutter” to create more peace and contentment in your life as a 6. Note that “your anxiety” is not on the list. Everyone experiences anxiety, and as a 6 would know better than anyone, it’s not so simple to just “let it go.” Your anxiety is actually not the problem; your reaction to it is. Read on to see how.
1. The Idea That External Security Can Solve Your Anxiety
As noted above, the Enneagram 6 experiences a good deal of fear and anxiety, as do Type 5s. A Type 5 may address similar anxiety by withdrawing and gathering knowledge as an individual. But a 6 naturally looks to others – people and institutions – to provide security. However, they are also skeptical that anyone can truly be secure and trustworthy. This causes angst for themselves and their relationships as they continuously “test” the people and institutions they are loyal to. We’ll talk more about that below.
The point here, though, is that the core belief that external security can provide you peace of mind is flawed. On the contrary, your own internal insecurities are what cause you misery. No amount of security built in your external world can stop those worries from appearing.
I mean for that wake-up call to be empowering rather than demoralizing. While certainly the world can be a dangerous place, most of your fears are in your head. That means you can stop seeking assurance from outside, testing relentlessly in order to find that perfect source of security. If you’re being honest with yourself, doesn’t that habit exhaust you? Wouldn’t you feel so much more at ease if you just let it go? Accepting that your fears can’t be solved by an external authority frees you from that cycle.
2. The Belief That You Need to Run Ideas by Others
As an Enneagram 6, you tend to worry about your ability to deal with challenges that life may throw at you. And this leads you to pull in others for support. In fact, the Type 6’s ability to collaborate with others and create effective teams is a strength. But when you constantly ask others for their opinion, it leads them to assume that you are not capable. And often, especially in work situations, your fear is that you won’t be seen as capable!
Even if you are not confident that you have the resources to deal with every situation, you can fake it until you make it. To be frank, that is what most other people are doing, anyway. Simply holding your tongue when you want to ask others for advice, or limiting your sounding boards to one or two close friends, can be a great start.
As you experience using your own guidance to deal with situations, you’ll naturally increase your confidence. You’ll find the outcomes are often good, even without input from others. That’s because you are, in fact, very knowledgeable and competent. You’ll also find that even when you make the wrong choice, the results are not nearly as disastrous as you feared.
So, please declutter the idea that others know more than you. Even people who give off an air of confidence likely don’t have more knowledge or insight than you do. And when it comes to your own life, you are the expert. Decluttering this belief will not only increase your confidence, but it will also lead others to respect you more.
3. Your Pessimism and Suspicion
As I said above, the Enneagram 6 is an excellent planner. They think through all possible scenarios and prepare for the worst. That’s because, deep down, they are a bit pessimistic and suspicious of others. While they hope that others will be as loyal and trustworthy as they are, they secretly worry that they won’t. While the Enneagram 5’s pessimism leads them to generally avoid others, the Type 6 seeks out connections but feels anxious about them.
This tendency can lead you into very negative places in your mind. And you can end up projecting your negativity onto the external world. In that case, you’re not able to see reality accurately, and you’ll see whatever negative thing you’re expecting to see. Often, that will be ill intent from others that doesn’t exist. And when you go on the offense about perceived malice from others, they react negatively. You ironically create the very situation you feared.
It’s true that suspicion and assuming the worst can sometimes keep you safe. But even more often, it leads you to miss out on opportunities and burn bridges with others. This creates a negative feedback loop as you break connection with others and feel abandoned without support – the very thing you fear above all.
So, when you notice these pessimistic thought patterns appearing, identify them for what they are. Then imagine yourself “decluttering” them from your mind. Most of these negative thoughts and fears are simply not accurate. They are not keeping you safe as much as they are keeping you unhappy.
4. Your Hypervigilance
Type 6s experience mental “chatter” that constantly scans for potential problems. This pattern has probably kept you safe in certain situations in the past, so it makes sense you would keep it up.
However, just like with physical clutter, you have to ask yourself what something that is occasionally useful is costing you. Sure, your hypervigilance may lead you to foresee a negative event and avoid it every once in a while. But much more often, it will make you unhappy, unable to enjoy your life because you’re so focused on problems that haven’t occurred yet and most likely never will.
As anyone with anxiety knows, letting this go is easier said than done. And there are many solutions and therapies possible that are beyond the scope of this blog. But as a first step, simply becoming aware of when you’re doing this and “cutting off” the line of thought can be a great start to changing this habit. When you notice the mental chatter, you can even visualize is as junk cluttering your mind space. Then imagine yourself clearing it out, leaving you with a peaceful, focused mind space.
Just like with decluttering your home, decluttering these negative patterns takes work and time. But the payoff for that discipline is so worth it.
What Do You Think?
Are you an Enneagram 6, or are you close to one? Did any of the above resonate with you? What are your experiences with “decluttering” these habits? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!
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